KEYSER LAW BLOG


Top 10 Apps that Make the World a Worse Place
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While smart phone apps continually make our lives easier, they can also wreak havoc when used at the wrong place and time. Just as bad as texting while driving, so it is with “apping” while driving – dangerous! That said, below is a gallery of smart phone apps that are double danger; apps that should never be used while driving, as well as, apps that quite simply make the world a worse place.

 

1. Save Kitty

 

It use to be that the measure of gentleman was to rescue kittens from trees but the Save Kitty app is a bit of a digression. In fact, Save Kitty challenges users to keep Kitty away from saw blades, or else. Interested in training to becoming the next Jeffrey Dahmer? Well, there’s an app for that!

 

 

 

2. Ashley Madison

 

There are a number of dating apps that have been developed for helping lonely people find true love – then there’s Ashley Madison. Scraping the bottom of the barrel of human decency and epitomizing the negative direction in which this world is heading, this is a dating app that caters specifically to married people that are seeking extramarital affairs.

 

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3. Photo Shooter

 

For anyone who ever wondered why domestic violence is an issue, why school shootings happen and how someone can waltz into a summer camp and kill 80+ people without reserve, well the Photo Shooter app might be responsible. This app allows you to select a photo and pepper it with bullet holes – a gateway fantasy leading to the action.

 

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4. Hold On

 

As if we weren’t addicted enough to our mobile devices, now there’s an app that rewards you for never putting it down! Yep, Hold On is a seemingly worthless app that times how long you can hold on to the on-screen button – as people compete with their friends for best time, the only real result is the decline in your ability to socialize in the real world.

 

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5. I Am Rich

 

While the Hold On app is seemingly worthless, the I Am Rich app is undoubtedly worthless. Though its eligibility is technically under review by Apple (because of their policy that apps must have a function), this app is nothing more than a superficial status symbol. Selling for $999.99, the app serves zero purpose other than to illustrate that the owner has more money than necessary and that they are probably one of the few that actually cares about Kim Kardashian’s lightning quick marriage.

 

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6. Where the Ladies .At

 

Just as Save Kitty is an app for the Dohmers in training, this app is for current stalkers and aspiring rapists. Where the Ladies .At is a geo-tracking/navigation app that piggybacks on FourSquare to reveal the places where the most females have checked-in, as a way of providing an inside track to the sleazebag looking for high concentrations of women (for improved odds). Chivalry is dead!

 

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7. iAmAMan

 

Speaking of chivalry being dead, iAmAMan is an app for the womanizer that lacks basic organizational skills and a conscience. Working like any ‘ol calendaring system, iAmAMan allows you to seamlessly schedule dates with multiple girls, however, as an added bonus, if one of them stumbles upon the app and forces you to enter your password so she can see what/who you’ve been up to, she’ll only see her name because each girl gets their own specific password!

 

8. iVoodoo

 

In case Photo Shooter didn’t quite do it for, iVoodoo is another app that allows you to act out your violent fantasies but, this time, with the added power of Black Magic. Offering various dolls, needles, a needle management system and many other pain distributing devices, iVoodoo is a modern app for an ancient evil practice. Just what the world needs!

 

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9. Poop the World

 

You know what else the world needs? An app that journals your bowel movements – but wait, there is an app for that! Yep, using your phone’s GPS capabilities, Poop the World allows you to track and document your excrement exploits for posterity sake. Just think, while some people are building apps that can save lives, Poop the World is … well, enough said.

 

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10. iLickIt

 

Rounding out the list is an app that has two strikes against it before it even begins. For starters, it’s an app that is controlled with your tongue – hardly hygienic for a device that has seen so many public surfaces. Secondly, in an age where the average weight of Americans is skyrocketing, iLickIt brings us an app that not only encourages the consumption of food but licking your plate clean and getting every last drop.

 

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We hope you’ve enjoyed this gallery of sleazy apps that make the world a worse place and we hope that IF you must use one of them, you won’t do it while driving! “Brought to you by Keyser Law Firm.


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